Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Day Before...

As a Wedding planner most of my weekends tend to be busy creating that one special day for Bride's and Grooms... This weekend was no exception.

I had the great opportunity to celebrate their wonderful day on Edmonton's River Boat... A first for me! I have to say, the staff and everyone there were amazing!

As I drove home though after the sun had gone down (the drive is about 45 minutes) I realized that my heart hurt.... Not in a heart attack way though... As if it was preparing for a loss of some sort.... It ached I suppose....

Over the last few days I've tried to make sure that I keep myself in check... No blubbering tears or breakdowns.... Must stay strong for myself and my family. What good will crying about the future help? It doesn't take away the constant knots in my stomach though....

Another major thought that keeps popping into my head is how Tyler is actually going to be away.... All day and night... Odd. His job isn't easy or safe for that matter. They take precautions but still... Accidents happen. We've had a few close calls since this career choice and the only thing that kept me going was the fact that I knew he'd be coming home after his shift. And somehow things are easier to accept when you know that you can physically see your loved one every day after work. I'm not sure how I'll deal with the stress of knowing the dangers of his work (or not knowing the exact dangers) and not being able to see him everyday..... Ugh.

Tyler is my rock. I'll admit it. I'm not trying to score any bonus points here... He keeps me stable... And strong. I know for a fact that I'd be a mess if it wasn't for having him in my life! We've been through a lo of stressful things (Emma was an emergency c-section and then in the NICU...) but somehow having him around me makes me feel stronger. Like I can handle anything.

I guess time is the only way that I'll be able to see how I can handle things on my own for awhile...

Here we go!

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